Monday, December 19, 2011

The time you have

I'm so excited about this coming Christmas weekend and a little anxious, in an unsettling sort of way.  The excitement is coming from many things.  Addison and Jeffrey and the puppies will be here!  I get to spend Christmas with my sister and niece and nephews!  We get to spend it in our new cozy home!  But I'm also concerned that Bailey won't be here and how weird that will be for all of us.  I'm hoping that Bailey will be okay, hopefully surrounded with friends and the new guy she's been seeing, and won't be too sad that we're here and she's not (she has to work and couldn't make it up).

It's the first Christmas that I won't see her, so I'm hoping it's not too bad.  These things come with their growing up, but this year it's happening because we moved away.  I feel a tiny bit of guilt about that, all the while knowing it was the right thing and has been an awesome move for us.  There'll be many Christmases, I'm sure, that we won't all be together.  When your kids are grown and have been out of the house for a while, it's such an awesome feeling when they visit and you have a couple nights that you KNOW WITHOUT QUESTION that they are safely sleeping in their beds.  Not wondering if they're out partying and don't have a safe ride home, not worried that they're with someone they shouldn't be with, not wondering if they're wearing their seatbelt every time they get in a car.

Yuck.  When does the worrying about your kids stop.

Okay, back to Christmas.  We get to have the big holiday meal that we didn't have at Thanksgiving.  And we get to see Alan's family on Christmas Day, which is a rarity!  I was talking to his mom earlier today, and she calculated that it was probably when Alan was in college that she last saw him at Christmas.  That's a long time.  I'm thinking I should be pretty thankful for how much time I HAVE had with my kids rather than dread the time I won't.

So Merry Christmas, and enjoy your kiddos, and sit at a big table, and eat way more food than necessary.  Those are my plans.

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