Um...

Look, this is just the way nature produces the butternut squash. You have a dirty mind. Or have you recently watched Superbad, too? If you have, then you're excused from your immoral thoughts because there's no way you could have just watched that movie and not thought of such things. Anyway....the butternut squash. The vegetable that took me half an hour to peel, slice open, clean out, and cut up. That's a LOT of time in the kitchen cutting up one vegetable, and I'm not exaggerating. And get this - it cost $8. Yes, it was a four pound squash and yes, it turned out to be heaven in a gourd, but still...$8 for a single vegetable?

I can only hope that some frozen food manufacturer out there has done all the work for me and has mass produced this veggie all chopped up in a nice convenient bag. Because that creamy mashed butternut squash we had with dinner tonight? Wow. It was that good. But not good enough that I'll buy another one of those phallical looking vegetables and go through that again. Oh, I forgot the best part. A very elderly lady behind me in the checkout line took one look at my gourd and said, "Well, it looks like you're going to have some fun with that squash."

I don't make this stuff up.